I know the number for 911!

I made my first ever 911 cal two days ago. Accidentally calling in my babyhood did not happen. And then in my childhood I never had to. But two days ago I did.

I was at work when this squealing of tires and smashing sound happened. I said a little prayer, and then my manager rushed in and said "Christina, call 911!" So I did. It all happened ... the way I been drilled since I was little. I even managed, for my poor dyslexic brain, to have all the pertinent info on a piece a paper to read off of. So, my first emergency call ever.

OK, Sweet Thing, here we go;

Riley Poole. I love nerd glasses.

Sherlock Holmes and an awesome coat.

Dean Winchester. Because he is yummy.

Any Doctor would do, but this one has nerd glasses.

Girlie, did you want to see someone in particular?

GERONIMO

I have a blog?

I actually took off by choice. I was plowing my way through so many really good blogs, reading other peoples journeys, in their faith, their lives, and I had nothing to say. I do not feel I am growing, in anything really. So I took a break, I didn't read blogs, and I wasn't  here either. And then Jen of http://www.conversiondiary.com/ invaded my dreams last night and told me off for not reading her blog. Really.

So I came back to say that I have nothing to add. Big things haven't happened in a while, and lots of the little things feel either to small or to personal, for sharing.

Wanna see some cute boys?

Next time.

GERONIMO

They don't have music notation on Blogger?

So, I just had a music lesson.

I SANG DIMINISHED FIFTHS!

This is big. Like BIG big. I feel like a giddy, totally high, kid. It is an intense feeling.  Yeah, endorphins.

Today could be a list of good things.

• I sang dim 5ths, as both intervals and in ex. 6, A CAPELLA! Good day.
• First week of fall TV. I, unlike all the people I know, have cable and watch TV shows on the TV, not the computer. (Weird, I know.  I really need to do something on TV.)
• It's second day of fall and it rained this morning.
• I have my basic line up for my exam nailed down. And I can almost sing my recits.
• I have six books lined up and waiting for me to read them.
• I saw people this week.
• Chocolate is my friend.

OK, That's a wrap. Move on folks, nothing left here for you.

GERONIMO

I left.

Temporarily. I don't use my computer when I have time off. And I had the first week of September off. Our relationship (my computer and I) is tempestuous, at best. We go through rocky bits, and I go into avoidance mode,  if I can. But I am back.

Since I left, I got laser surgery, got new glasses, started a new TV series, Doctor Who started up again, lost and found an earring, had friends come back after Summer, and helped someone move for school. I think that is it.

Oh! And I made my first blackberry crisp of the season.

Fall feels like it is coming soon. I miss formal school, so badly. Work is just not the same. And I just love Fall mornings, I love the shorter days. I think I might be the only person on earth with that like.







It was recently brought to my attention that I might be sick in the head for some of my likes. Want a list? Well, you can have a short one.

• I like winter days. The ones were daylight starts at 8:30 and ends at 5. Those ones? ?Yah, I like those ones.

• I crave tofu. I really like it, and I get tofu cravings.

Apparently people shouldn't crave tofu.


GERONIMO

Calm, empty and the 26th.

Boring was much needed. I was craving day with nothing in it, just to catch up in my brain. We have had so much company.

Summer arrived late, and now I am not sleeping. But it had to come at some point.

I made my first batch of jam EVER today. So, that was scary. I read. I didn't sleep in.

                        Really, the entire point of this post is to say;

TOMORROW IS DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!

Big things, little endings.

I am sure that all childhoods can be summed up in a few defining things, but as I can only speak about mine, I will.

Mine can be summed thus;

• Learning complications and being home schooled.

• Really good books.

• Gobs of outside playtime.

• Friends for life.

• Playmobil.

I lived 6" from good friend for 11 years. We collected playmobil, and because we played with it together, we kept it together. Today we had to sort it, because of moving and being grown ups and junk. 

The endings of iconic things are traumatic. Remembering hours we spent with little plastic pieces. The characters have names and we still know them. And we had to sort and divide. I had the distinct feeling of moving forward this afternoon. Sometimes growing older comes softly, but that wasn't today. But I didn't cry, so that went better than I was anticipating.

And to quote myself on aging "Either we get old or we die young.

THREE DAYS TILL DOCTOR WHO!!!!!

Dreams?

The land of the dreams is always odd, but sometimes it can highlight weaknesses. Last night was the latter.

When I was about 15 my most common nightmare was about getting drunk and doing things that I had no control over. In my dream I would watch myself participating in actions that I wouldn't do on pain of death, and I couldn't stop. It was horrifying. That dream stopped a couple years ago.

Last night that theme came back with different contents. I was strapped down on a board and couldn't move and someone was forcing tomatoes down my throat. (I have a tomato sensitivity, it makes me plugged up, and gives me dark circles under my eyes.) And after feeding me so many tomatoes I felt like I was drowning, they started in on the cigarettes. I was being forced to take up smoking.

My arms were strapped down. I couldn't fight back.

I might or might not like having control over things. The thing with nightmares is sometimes they are actually scary, sometimes they just point out that I still have trust issues.

FIVE DAYS TILL DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!

My eye

The left to be exact. It has a saga. Well, both of my eye's are involved in the saga.

It starts when I was young. I was diagnosed with an eye focusing error. Which means the little muscles in your eye which keep it steady to follow a line of writing, were not developed. So I couldn't read.

That was fun. The years before 11. I would get massive headaches when trying to study for more than 20 minutes, which is why we began homeschooling. But I grew out of my focusing error, and for 4 years I had perfect vision. Then I was given glasses for distance because my vision was no longer fine.

Glasses. I didn't want to be one of the kids with glasses. I wanted perfect vision like both my parents. I didn't want issues. So I didn't wear them. And I didn't go back to the optometrist for 6 or so years. I recently went back. And was told that if I have glasses I should wear them. I have been. The headaches are gone so that's nice. But when I was at the Doctor's, his fancy new eye camera found a hole in my left eye, and I have been scheduled for laser surgery to tack it into place so my retina never detaches, which could happen because of my hole.

I'm not old enough for this kind of drama.





NINE DAYS TILL DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!!

This is not a travel blog.

Okay, I happen to combating travel envy right now.

WYD has rolled around again, and once again I am NOT there. I am also not leaving to see lovely historical sites or go to school in a foreign country. I am going to stay home and watch it all on TV,  read other peoples blogs and decipher home picture slides.





11 Days till Doctor Who!!!!!

GERONIMO

My first blackberry of the season.

I always forget what blackberry tastes like. Fresh off the bush. Still warm. And then I always remember, and it is good. So good. Do I forget the joys of seasons that aren't happening? I don't think I do, and then I eat that blackberry.

We also got three hazelnuts from the nut tree. That was fun. Nothing else is ready to be harvested.

It's the 15th of August. The evenings are shorter, the days cooler. Time to think about back to school.

Because of the what I chose to do, back to school supplies don't look standard. They haven't looked standard since grade 2 and I still miss that feeling. Kilts, new pencils and knee-high socks are all things I wish for as soon as anyone mentions school. I wish universities had uniforms. I wish it could feel like September more often. New, fresh, and so so clean. No big black blemishes tarnishing your memories yet. They come. So quickly they come, but they haven't arrived yet.

Pretty, Huh?

I miss that feeling.Adulthood isn't formed into seasons quite the same way. I think I will suffer nostalgia for Autumn forever.

12 days till Doctor Who!!!

GERONIMO

Maybe I should use this?

So I think one of the points of a blog is to write about your life. I seem to have trouble grasping that right now. Obviously.
I have really low lows after great days. I had a great day yesterday, last night I crashed. The crash always looks the same.

                                   Silly.

Last night I got thinking about the talents God gives different people, which led me to come to the (false?) realization that I have no great talents and absolutely no original thoughts. And I am a choleric, direct communicator, and generally loud and abrasive. So I got to cry about having no redeeming qualities and this morning life looked so much better.

Who wudda thunk?

But I would still like a talent. Or to be pretty. I would take either. Not too picky.

Why don't we dress like that anymore? I would wear a corset to look like that. Would you?

Friday came.

 Let us do this in Quick Take format.

ONE
This is the first time I have ever had to work a full time job in the Summer. It changes the feel of a season drastically. I haven't helped around the house nearly as much. I haven't read many books. I also haven't lounged around looking for something to do. I haven't swum in the lake either, but that is more a comment on the weather more than my job. So, different.

TWO
I ate ice cream out of a carton for the first time 10 minutes ago. It was fun.

THREE
I appear to run a Doctor Who lending service. I will hand out my DW as long as people love it.

FOUR
I have a new key board. It feels different. I am adjusting.

FIVE
Book talk, Jane by April Linder; Jane and Rochester have no chemistry. It is boring. The creep factor that is in the original is not there and I was altogether disappointed, especially after it had such a pretty cover.

SIX
I like fabric shopping on the internet. I don't like it IRL. My feet always get sore when I have to browse through a fabric store looking for those few good finds.

SEVEN
Have a lovely long weekend.

GERONIMO

Becoming Open

There are so many types of open and almost all are good. Open to grace, open to chances, open to people. Open is followed by honest. Honest, but kind, I think., because with open, comes vulnerability.

I am not open by choice. My mother has made a point to wear me down over time, but it was not a tendency I came to all by myself. This blog is an experiment in being more open.

So, lets play 5 random facts about me;

1. I am a closet music fan. As a musician that sounds wierd, but I am a classical musician. Classical people can get snobby. I like music. I like lots of music. All the time I like music. 
2. I plan phone calls well in advance. I practice what I have to say. I rehearse it over and over. Then I dial with shaky sweaty fingers and get the call over as fast as I can with as few umms as possible. It helps that I plan the call. I don't like making calls. I don't mind answering the phone.
3. I prefer Adoration in the middle of the night. I like a quite world so I can cry with God alone. I cry in Adoration. Always. It's easier in private.
4. I love history. It's a soap opera your permitted to study and memorise all the funky details of. I want to travel for the history of a place not its climate.
5. My fingernails a currently bright blue.

GERONIMO

True Lovers of Lists

After years of my mother telling to do five or six chores and then leaving to do what ever is was she had to do, and coming home and noticing that I always forget to do one or three, we devised "the list".

If you have never heard of lists they are very rare and new fangled. They are written directions.
Like:

• Do laundry
• Make dinner
• Move your stupid books off the coffee table, and take them to your bedroom. I don't care if you reading them.

You get the idea.

Well, after years of communicating through lists and listening to the line of the Queen Scouts,  (I happen to be the spawn of one), Be Prepared, I have grown attached to lists.

I have been amusing myself with making lists about a trip I am going take in twenty-six months. Yes, I am making packing lists for a trip that is going to take place in over two years. And food lists. And budget lists. And location lists.

Although at least half these lists came into creation because I couldn't remember all the words to There was an old women who swallowed a fly.

Thank you...

There is thing... Gosh, starting a sentance like that makes me feel dumb.

Moving on.

Recently in some of the YouTube videos I have been watching, people have been thanking J.K. Rowling. So I thought, why limit yourself to one English author?

Thank you A.A. Milne for the way I write to and orally address my mummy. Thank you for writing poetry that I simply memorised by reading it repeatedly. Thank you for Eeyore. And Winnie-the-Pooh.

Thank you Arthur Ransome for getting me through the first years of homeschooling.

Thank you Baroness Emma Orczy for writing The Scarlet Pimpernel. This book showed me that 100% was possible with Seton.

Thank you Constance Savery for outstanding children's literature, That as an adult becomes more complex.

Thank you C.S. Lewis. And Tolkien, and Chesterton. Thank you for being great men and wonderful authors.

Thank you Josephine Tey. You were a late edition to my life. I'm sorry it took me so long.

Thank you Georgette Heyer for filling up so much of my book shelf. My life would be that little bit more barren without you.

Thank you Diana Wynne Jones for Howl and Chant. You will be missed.

I think that's it for now.

P.S. Does Robin McKinley count? She is from the States but lives in England.

Demands have been made.

I have been suffering form feeling the futility of words. There is nothing about me that is new, exciting or particularly interesting. So I haven't felt the urge to share. Nothing out of the ordinary happens to me and I do not have the talent to spin boring into a story.
(That only sounded mildly self absorbed, didn't it?)

So onwards.

Thing one: I got bangs. I have been asking hairdressers for years, if maybe, just maybe I could have bangs? They said no. I finally found one who thought it was my hair. It was a nice change, and I am going to stick with her.

Thing two: Courage was used today. I bought shorts. Summer is torture. Every thing is shorter, people want you to wear swimsuits.Just all round torture. But, I was brave and it went better than it has in the past.

Thing three: I got a ticket to the midnight showing for Harry Potter. This is the first time I will go to a midnight showing and it is for the last film.

Thing four: Melismas are evil.

Thing five: I want to talk about my faith, or spiritual journey, or something. I keep pulling a blank. Apparently I have no spiritual life. Talk about a freaky news flash.

Thing six: The Canucks won tonight. A happier Christina does this make.

Thing seven: I am just getting into Downtown Abbey, and the third and fourth episodes are on Sunday night. Goody!

GERONIMO

Spiritual Directors

For a couple years I have had my eyes open for a spiritual director, but there are a few things standing in my way.

Namely, me.

Advice is usually offered in confession. I travel for confession so as to not go the the parish priest. And also we don't have a proper confessional. I need a screen. It is vital. But the point still stands. I don't want to face the the still very human person I just humbled myself before. (As a side not, I get the theology, my issue still exists.) But a spiritual director would have to know me, and know me well. It makes me squiggly inside. Something is in my way.

Namely, me. A very proud me.

I have notice that I get in the way of my growth quite often. I should stop. It's a bad habit.

GERONIMO

It's thing Friday

Dear B. of K.

Thing one: I can feel myself turning into my mother. I don't mind, it's just weird. So we were shopping today, and in the check out line they had thank-you cards on sale, and two of the patterns could be masculine. Mum collects cards in a box so that when the occasion arises we have a card, but masculine thank-you cards are a little hard to find on sale. When I saw these cards I snatched them up with the statement that I had to start my own card box. I'm becoming my mum.

Thing two: Just when I think it is time to clean out my brain, someone, generally THE teacher of music gives  out more work. She must sense that I am regaining consciousness  or something. I have been singing this aria for a very short time when she tells me the interpretation could use work and could I please translate it word for word from the Italian. I, of course, say yes.

Thing three: I love book shopping. This might have been mentioned. But, in my journeys as a book shopper, I have developed a pattern. I ask if they have an obscure British author, they say no. Or sometimes not obscure, they still say no. Or they have the author, just not the books I am looking for. If someone ever says yes, I might scream, which would be inappropriate. It could happen though.

Thing four: Rhubarb crisp and ice cream is yummy.

Thing five: I am in the middle of a passionate love affair with cheese. I eat dairy approximately four weeks of every year. Cheese and ice cream. Yummy.

Thing six: The regular TV season is closing which means I have time to organize which TV shows I would like to watch and catch up on. This is going to be a blast. I like moving pictures.

Thing seven: Read a good book. Re-read a good book. Have a good weekend.

Go Canucks Go

I usually watch hockey during the Olympics, and that's it. I have come to realize that is partly because, before this year, in my living memory, my home team didn't not do well. Nothing gets me enthusiastic about a sport than a team I like, doing well.

So, I am watching the Stanley Cup, and caring. I feel unified with the people around me. When someone drives past with Canucks flag in their car windows, I feel a flash of understanding, that in the past was not felt. This is the first time I have ever cheered team, not a country. Before this, I watched more individual sports or world sporting events. This is fun.

So... Go Canucks Go

GERONIMO

Driving

I have procrastinated as long as is humanly possible while living in a place with no public transportation about driving. But the time has come, I can no longer bum rides without a twinge of guilt. So now I have to buckle down and learn how to park. I hate driving. I swear I am going to kill someone.

Still insisting on living in the country though. So I obviously don't hate driving enough. Sigh.

It's thing Friday

Thing one: Time moves slower when I am not stressed. Or maybe that is just the sunshine talking.

Thing two: I like reading angst. Not tragedy. Angst. My insides weep this continuous, slow, achy cry, and I love that kind of pain. It is peaceful. Colour me odd.

Thing three: I'm actually looking forward to getting dressed up tomorrow night. I usually hate dress clothes. I love the shoes, but I don't like taffeta. But this time seems different.

Thing four: Baking is more fun when I'm doing it because I want to. When I have to bake for others the expectation is heavier. It never tastes like it should.

Thing five: I need a new book. One that sucks me in body and soul. It's been awhile since I had one of those. I think I'm ready.

Thing six: Isn't sunshine pretty?

Thing seven: Have a nice long weekend. I know I will.

GERONIMO

Multi-tasking

Apparently woman can multi-task. As far as I know I am a woman, but not a multi-tasker. Not the BIG stuff at any rate. I can talk and unload the dish washer, I can not do an exam and concert and keep up a blog.

The people close to me have noticed this trend. One year my music teacher booked me to do a voice and piano exam in the same session, after my marks came back she decided that we were never doing that again. Actually, noticing that trend, it might explain why I have done so many summer theory exams. Anyway, I fell off the face of the earth and I am almost back. Not that I care. Or you care. Just saying.

Did you know that Queen Victoria started the trend for wearing white wedding dresses?

GERONIMO

If you don't have anything to say

Say nothing.

Which is how I am explaining my silence. After this coming weekend my last big scholastic push will be over and I get to make the move towards summer activities. Like washing and painting the house. This happens most summers. But this year instead of touching up, or re-painting nice colours we get to paint over pink walls. I am resigned to pink clothing, but the fact that people would voluntarily paint walls pink I still find a difficult concept. I like blue, and green, and grey, and cream, and yellow. Not pink. Not pink on walls.

GERONIMO

*drum roll* It's Friday

It's time for thing Friday.

Thing one: My line up for the recital in two weeks finally got nailed down. I have slight obsessive problems when something like this goes for long periods of time all liquidy. Makes me nervous. I am over the moon. (Not really).

Thing two: YouTube is supplying some of my music these days. Only problem, it's not so portable. (YouTube isn't in spell-check yet. Huh.)

Thing three: June cannot come to quickly this year. I was promised no theory this summer. First time in forever. I am looking forward to quasi freedom. Should be almost boring.

Thing four: As a word of advice, don't make your music teacher laugh while drinking. Even if I am never intentionally funny, and most of my funny moments happen while I am in tears, laughing and drinking can be dangerous.

Thing five: Who thought out how we teach history. I can barely keep hold of the details of my life, and I'm living it, what makes it an obvious choice that I have to remember some dead composers mistress? Is it life changing? Will the music make more sense? Do I care? Brainiacs, those people in charge of the book writing.

Thing six: I'm sorry. Anyone, for anything. Just... I'm sorry. Always.

Thing seven: Have a lovely weekend and to all those with mother's, this coming Sunday is Mother's Day. Don't forget.

GERONIMO

Be patient

I have stuff to process.

Humans can learn an amazing amount of stuff in a week. It helps when it is already half learned.

Lyrics are the easy part of music.

Crazy people are crazy, they are really hard to crawl inside of.

Life does not end If exams are failed. Humility is good, even in big doses.

Brains can eventually regain order. They just need time.

Ones value as a human does not rest in academic achievement.

Prayer always helps. Always.

Eating feelings does not. Chocolate is not always the solution. Most times it is though.

Time progresses regardless of whether it is told to or not.

Internal metronomes need to be dusted sometimes. That does not mean I am faulty and not functioning properly any more. Tune-ups are for peak performance.

I will live.

I fell out wih the news

Feels a little odd not to have a header telling me what day it is.

Big things have happened in the last three days. Two big things. Osama bin Laden was killed, and the Torys got a majority government. I was very close, about a year ago, to being a political junkie. I watched the news every night. I could tell you what was happening around the world, and then we fell out. The news and I. I got sick and tired of news casters yelling at each other. Hyperbole was extreme, every time someone said anything you could be excused for thinking the world was ending. And it could be about dogs going to the dentist, for Pete's sake. It was exhausting. I stopped watching.

If I happen to know anything now, it's coincidence. I knew there was an election because I had to go vote. And my father checked the news on his iphone this morning and told me about OBL. I'm in a news void, and I have to say, I kinda like it. I get to merrily go about my life without the overshadowing of the entire worlds issues hanging on my head.

And if the event is big enough I will eventually hear about it.

Geronimo

I fell off the wagon

Day the Thirtieth:

Due to having an actual life and junk, I fell off the BEDA wagon. I did stay up for 23 1/2 hours to watch a wedding though. I thought it was beautiful, and had a small moment of wishing I had  a budget that could get me a choir like that. If I had to break down into percentages why I was watching the Royal Wedding it would read something like this:

40% the music.
40% because they are my monarchy, becasue it was a spectacle, because someting like that might not roll around in my lifetime again, becasue of the history
20% to see the dress.

So there you have it, my reasons for being stupid and fall off a wagon.

The END.

Of BEDA

GERONIMO

Trials

Day the Twenty-seventh:

Don't bother reading this. I am simply putting letters after one another to make random words that are then formed into what looks like intelligent sentences. This is false. They are barely coherent.

Trials and tribulations. That phrase, I find, is most fitting to the little problems in life. I am a boring and currently busy, person. And tired. I have no words to share, but because I said I would blog every day all month, I am rambling onwards about have nothing to ramble about. They have words for people like me. I think the most fitting one for right now is stupid. I should just go to bed and not mind that I didn't post tonight. Instead, I write this.

Sigh.

Night all. Geronimo

I'm counting down

Day the Twenty-sixth:

As much as BEDA has been fun, I want to take a day off and not feel bad. There is an Opera tonight. So that should be educational. But really, without effort I have very little to share. My brain has been sucked dry. Or that could simply be too much sugar.

Ta-ta for now.

GERONIMO

One of my philosophies

Day the Twenty-fifth:

I have rainy music, and sunny music, and happy music, and tired music, and grumpy music, and cleaning music, and baking music. But I study with whatever I am craving, which generally means one of the aforementioned.

One of the many philosophies I have formed is that by and large, most problems are easier to fix with good music playing. My currant position in life means that I get to form philosophies and they aren't destroyed, yet.

In my case anyway, I can fix most moods that aren't related to not singing, with good music and protein. Or, at the very least talking them out hurt less with music and food.

I was only thinking about this because I am slightly overfed (this is not my fault, some foods simply can not be denied) and have been rejoicing in Easter music. Life is a beautiful thing.

GERONIMO

BEDA was not...

Day the Twenty-fourth:

BEDA was not designed by a Catholic. It's Easter. I am not going to take the time to write interesting stuff, when I could be hanging with my family and eating sticky buns. Just isn't going to happen.

He is Risen, Alleluia.

GERONIMO

If I had a Tardis

Day the Twenty-third:

History is were my time would be spent.

I want to hear what ancient Egyptian sounded like. Ever since I studied Egypt, and found out that we can read the hieroglyphs because of the Rosetta Stone, not because we actually can speak it, I have wanted to hear it.

The time of the dinosaurs. Don't tell me that giant things aren't cool.

To be in England for the repercussions of 1066 would be amazing.

Just once I think, maybe, I would go into the future. My interest really lies in the past.

The time of Christ. Can you imagine a chance to BE there?

I want to see a claymore in action. Hear the evolution of the English language. Meet Chesterton.  And St. Joan of Arc. Find out what actually was going on during Bloody Mary's reign without the propaganda. See one of Shakespeare's plays while he was alive. Hear a Palestrina Mass just after it had been written. Have a reason to ride sidesaddle.

So many things and places, this list is endless.

Series six of Doctor Who starts in less than two hours.

GERONIMO

Agnus Dei

Day the Twenty-second:
It's Good Friday.
This is the only hard part of BEDA. And I forget how to do pictures. So imagine a lovely photo below.

I'm out.

GERONIMO

P.S. I will be back tomorrow.

Lamb

Day the Twenty-first:

My life is largely food-centric. You might notice this. Anyway, today is the day we eat lamb and flat bread. Traditions are beautiful, and I love them, but sometimes I wished that I liked the food involved. Don't misunderstand me. Flat bread is lovely. I have a minor problem with lamb.

Not a large problem. It's just not on my favorite food list. The list of dislikes is short, thanks to taste bud changes in my late teens, but I still don't fully appreciate lamb. I was hoping I would. Yet, Easter rolls around every year, and my mouth proves impossible to budge. Am I this stubborn about everything? Sheesh, I hope not.

GERONIMO

I had a day

Day the Twentieth:

I had an uninspiring day. Just a day. I am sure God was with me throughout my day, but nothing else to sing about happened. That came out wrong. My Lord is all I need to sing about. Just... You know. A day.

Little things happened. Like a friend came over to tell me about her new formal dress. And I went to work. A book was dropped off, it is a book of short stories all about dragons. My dresses shipped from Shabby Apple. If you have never checked them out, do so. http://www.shabbyapple.com/

A little day. And now it is over, so I am going to bed. The place of rest and rejuvenation.

GERONIMO

I crave spice

Day the Nineteenth:

I get hit with an overwhelming desire for exotic food. Different, spicy, new to my mouth. But by the time I have finished cooking it, the smells are familiar, I know what I put in it. I want a surprise. A hot spicy surprise. I want it shocking.

Or a really sticky cinnamon bun. But that is for Sunday.

GERONIMO

Before I Sleep

Day the Eighteenth:
Castles take years to build. Mine has been under construction approximately four years now. There is a sure fire way for me to catapulte myself into dreamland. I work on my house.

Some things have been super glued into fact. The library in my house is fashioned after the one in "Beauty and the Beast" only smaller and more intimate, but the same idea. The kitchen is an open floor plan. The Master shower is an entire tiled room , with about six shower heads. I could explane it all but I wont. I could also have it drawn up, but it's not finished in my mind yet. Things keep changing.

There are a couple things in flux. The colours that I use. Some days they are bold and strong, others they are in greys and creams and light blues. The fabrics follow the same trend as the colours. On the days the colours are strong and saturated the fabrics are heavier and textured. On the days the colours soothing, the fabrics become lighter, they flow with the breeze, they have movement.

And the size of the yard and garden changes. One thing that never changes about the garden is the wall. Made of stone. Stone is beautiful. It speaks of age and eternity. In my baby of a country we don't understand stone quite the way I would like. Or it wouldn't be so dang expensive. The garden is sometimes large and mostly lawn and other times it is a small herb garden, and on the wall are climbing roses. It just keeps going back and forth.

I have an AGA stove in my kitchen. In fact I have many expensive things in this home of mine, but none so expensive as kids. And they are always there. I try to steer clear of them and just think about colours and fabrics. And by the time I have decided that I should line the border with lavender, I have fallen asleep.

Blue Castles come in different styles. That is a peak at mine.

GERONIMO

Vitamin D

Day the Seventeenth:
I think my entire island is suffering from vitamin D deficiency. The instant the sun comes out everyone get happy. Truth is a little like that. There is a strong correlation in my mind between Sun and Son. The one of God. That one. People get happy in a similar way.

This is a big week. I have a tendency to fluctuate between grateful and baffled. Why EXACTLY did God die for me? I'm awful. And then I get a shot of God's vitamin D and remember.

He loves me.

Am I the only one who has to repeat that often, and out loud, just to try and grasp a minute particle of that statement?

GERONIMO

P.S. I think my typing is getting better.

Material Girl

Day the Sixteenth:
So as most Saturdays happen lately, Mum and I got to go shopping. With a friend. In the past five or so years I have relaxed into the whole shopping thing. It stopped being torture, and just became a pain. But sometimes a truly fun thing can happen. Today, I gave into temptation. I have wanted for years a pair of All-Star shoes. That wish got filled. They are purple.

GERONIMO

It's thing Friday

Day the Fifteenth:

Thing one:
I found Doctor Who on real Television!!! Private fan girl squee! OK, I'm good. The new season is premiering on time, in Canada. Aren't you excited?

Thing two:
I was reading Conversion Diary this morning and found out that I am not the only one wildly disappointed with my lent. It has been kind of dead beat. I can think of nothing that is drastically spiritually better.

Thing three:
In an effort to aid study, I try to get poetry stuck in my head instead of songs that have no business to be in there. Words without melody simply don't have the same catch. Neither do history dates I am sad to report.

Thing four:
Last night I wished I liked beer. It could have been the perfect ending. So far, though, I remain a hopeless case.

Thing five:
I watch dance every chance I get. Both parents look at me and shake their heads, they so don't get it. I blame them anyway. I was in dance class at the ripe old age of  three.
This passion shows up in different ways. Figure skating. I am an avid fan. For the entire competition season I can tell you when the shows will be broadcast. I will watch them all. Dance at music festival. I have gone to Provincials twice and gone to watch twice. My clearest memory of Prince George, my first provincial experience, was the day I got off, and was allowed to choose what I wanted to do. I dragged my mother to watch dance. She just looked puzzled. I had many good singers to go and see and I wanted to watch dance? Yup, I like dance. Does not mean I am any good though.

Thing six:
Easter is almost here. Singing in three masses in three days is nerve wracking. I always like time to practice. Not going to get much. I am not claiming that I have to put in any where near the time father does though. God bless all priests over the Triduum.

Thing seven:
If any one sees this past week could you send it back to me. I was thinking about giving a second shot. Maybe if I do the same week twice I can keep track of it. Worth a try.

GERONIMO

I have nothing to say.

Day the Fourteenth:
Literally. I have nothing to say. Nothing kills my independent thought like eight hours of work. But I should say something.

Hey! Wanna talk about the weather? Today's weather was beyond odd. It was sunny when I got up. Here I was thinking, "oooooooooooo Spring"! and then it began to pour. It was raining like no ones business. And people kept walking in to the store saying there was snow on the Malahat. Stupid weather.

OK. I talked.

GERONIMO

Cookie express

Day the Thirteenth:
There should be a cookie express that drives around offering cookies to the people who normaly make them and want the day off, and still need a cookie.

How about a Cookie List?

1. Oatmeal Raisin. I simply can't feel guilty eating this one. It tastes like breakfast.
2. Peanut Butter. Dense and crumbly and, and, just good. The taste of eternal childhood.
3. Chocolate Chip. Because there can never be enough chocolate. Ever.
4. Whipped Shortbread. One of the only cookies I can ever remember my mother making. She used the recipe that her mother used. The grandmother I never met. This is a special cookie.
5. No Bake Cookies. IF they ever make it to the freezer their awesome, but really, cookie on a spoon, anyone?

There are so many but those are the only ones that get eaten regularly around here.

I think I have to make Peanut Butter cookies now. I have a craving.

GERONIMO

Everything's a Bloomin'

 Day the Twelfth:
 It's spring. For the uninitiated, that means pollen. Lots of evil pollen.

Fair warning: I am going to get squicky.

As a singer, I have an unusual relationship with my sinus passages. I clear them out with saline solution, I avoid my favorite foods, and I moan when ever there is abnormal amounts of pollen. I was blessed to receive, at birth, very sensitive skin, and SINUS linings. Yipee!

I could at any given time talk to anyone about the inside of my face. It took a fair bit of time to figure out that when people inquire after my well being, they are not, in fact asking about my nose. But my nose concerns me. And for those who want to know, it is plugged. The snot keeps dropping onto my soft pallet and after about 20 min. I have to struggle to get any lift. In cave man terms; no high notes. I feel like I can't get hydrated. I'm drinking water as if it's going to dry up, and leave the earth bereft. All because of spring. The sun was nice. Nose issues? Not so much.

I enjoyed that. Ranting about this is something that never grows old.

GERONIMO

I have to go make supper

So this is going to be fast. (Not boring)
Day the Eleventh:
I'm having a ball with lists, so a list it will be. As a mentioned yesterday, I like dragon books, so lets do that.

1. The Hobbit. I thought I would start with a classic. Smog was awesomely terrifying. Tolkien was brilliant. (Like you needed me to tell you that.)
2. Everyone Knows What A Dragon Looks Like. Written by Jay Williams. This is a kid's book. My fascination started young.
3. A Dragon in a Wagon. Another kids book. By Lynley Dodd.
4. The Paper Bag Princess. I re-read this book SO many times. By Robert Munsch.
5. Missy Lee.By Arther Ransome. Not technically a dragon book. But there was a very vivid Chinese dragon festival scene, that even though I haven't read this in, oh, fourteen years I can still remember.
6. The Hero and the Crown. By Robin McKinley. This women writes beautiful prose. I actully prefer "The Blue Sword" which come before this in a series. But she's still lovely.
7. Dragonhaven. Also Robin McKinley. I finished this one today. Sigh. Good book.

OK. Now I gotta run.

GERONIMO

April 9th didn't happen

Day the Tenth:
I am a bad blogger. But I'm OK with that. Mostly. April 9th got swallowed. Classes and opera studio and Costco and new jeans took it away from me.

And today is Sunday. So here's to hoping nothing interesting happens that I need to talk about. Other than reading a new book that I bought on Friday. About dragons. Ever since I was little, dragon stories have fascinated me. Some of my favorite kids books were about the lovely scaly, fire breathing, flying creatures.

I am going to go enjoy this feast day.

Ta-ta.

GERONIMO

Book shopping

Day the Eighth:
Thing one:
I participated  in my favorite extra curricular activity today. I went book shopping. Books are beautiful. Book stores are beautiful, too. But, they have a couple annoying things about them. For one, why do I want books they never have?

Thing two:
The scary part of BEDA? Being able to track each day as it goes by. This month is going quickly.

Thing three:
Why is there no repeat button on YouTube?

Thing four:
I made cookies today. I love oatmeal raisin cookies. Their yummy.

Thing five:
It was properly sunny today. Like bonafide springtime. Fantastic! I had to wear my sunglasses. Everyone was happy. We were all ready for vitamin D.

Thing six:
I didn't eat dairy today. Fridays in Lent can be torture without dairy, but I held fast, and I made it. Hooray!

Thing seven:
This was a not real version of a "Seven Quick Takes Friday".
For real version try;
http://www.conversiondiary.com/
The lovely lady who came up with the idea.

GERONIMO

I have two hours

Day the Seventh:
I spent a successful day watching way to much TV, but some things are necessary. I just finished season seven of Buffy. Consequentially my brain is zapped. I have no independent thought.

And the Tangled soundtrack is STILL stuck in my head!

Ta-ta.

GERONIMO

There is time...

You just have to find it.
Day the Sixth:
I know, I know, I kinda skipped yesterday. Oh well.
So I thought I would do another list today. But it need a little back story.  I had a collection of Disney VHS as a child. I watched them so much they disintegrated. Yup, so, now I don't have any of those lovely movies which is sad. So this is the list of Disney movies in the order of which ones I have to buy first.

1. Robin Hood. Golly, I loved this movie. Especially Prince John. He sucked his Thumb. That was love.
2. Beauty and the Beast. The first time I tried to watch this I was 3 and the music they play coming into the Beasts castle scared me so much we had to turn it off. But Chip, anyone? Cute! I now know the entire soundtrack.
3. Tangled. It is a new obsession. What can I say.
4. Cinderella. After watching that movie when I talk to my little brother, whose name is August, I call him Gus-gus.
5. Little Mermaid. I was going to grow up to be the Little Mermaid, because she sand all the time. I was profound.
6. Finding Nemo. Just keep singing. Just keep singing.
7. Snow White. Only for the dwarfs.
8. 101 Dalmatians. Puppies.
9. Bambi. "He can call me flower, I don't mind." Sigh
10. Sleeping Beauty. Because I wanted 10. And I have never seen it from beginning to end.

Well I think that's a good start.

GERONIMO

Books

Day the Fifth:

I have no time to do an interesting blog post today because I have to read as much of my book as I can before I 

have to go to work. Yup, those are my priorities.

 

GERONIMO

Lists

Day the Fourth:
So I'm thinking April goes on all month long. I need a plan. But I don't plan my blog. I didn't even plan on having a blog. See how well my not planning is going? But still, I need a plan. So I thought I could do random lists of stuff. You know, stuff.

 How about I start with my pet peeves. I really like talking about them.

1. Wet Socks. Not wet all over. Just, when you step on a drop of water on the floor, and the sock gets a wet spot on the ball of your foot. Then it sticks and just generally bugs me. Pet peeve.
2. Having a song I hate stuck in my head. I have come to the conclusion that I get an internal soundtrack, regardless of wether I want it or not, just, does it have to be songs I hate?
3. American spell check. I want to spell my words the British way. Would it be too much to ask, to have a British spell check? Yes? Well, bummer.
4. When library's only have three or so book out of five book series. Or, they don't have the book at all. I don't want to buy it if I don't know I like it , but I can't know that I like it, if I can't read it.
5. Canadian publishers who don't publish new books from Australia or England. Catch up already!
6. When they publish a series and change the size and cover design part way through. It makes for uneven shelves. GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Hmm. Books. I love books, but any time there is a close relationship there is more chance for peeves, apperantly. 

"It is a curious thing that people only ask if you are enjoying yourself when you aren't."
Edith Nesbit

GERONIMO

Things Keep Happening

Day the Third:
There is lots planned for April. All of witch takes up a smidgen of brain space, space I don't have to share with stuff. And virtually none of it is really important in the big picture.

Easter is number one. This is the important one.

Number two is the premiere of season six of Doctor Who! This is big. I'm about to pop out of my skin.

Number three is going to involve planning. I can't be the only person I know who wants to watch Prince William and Kate get married. So I want to have a sleepover party, because the wedding will be at 3 am our time. All these things are happening in the space of 7 days. Such fun.

On Books "Far too many relied on the classic formula of a beginning, a muddle, and an end."

GERONIMO

Then to Continue

Day the Second:
All of my Saturdays are spent in Victoria cramming in info that I most desperately need but do not particularly want. Modern Music. Some interesting, mostly ugly. I can say that because it is my opinion.

My class falls over lunch, therefor I exit with huger cravings. Today's was scones. Not just any scones, I wanted spinach and feta cheese scones. Fortunately for me, we had to go grocery shopping after the class was over, so I got beautiful ingredients. My mother likes to feed ingredients to my cravings because she gets yummy stuff out of the bargain. So I made scones for dinner.

That was the entirety of my day. All of it. Well, I saw some friends. But nothing else happened.

"Be content to remember that those who can make omelettes properly can do nothing else."
Hilaire Belloc

(I can't make an omelette.)


GERONIMO

And so to begin

Day the First;
I needed an excuse to stand up and walk away form my history homework. I hate exams. Blargh. On the bright side, I watched Tangled on Wednesday night. I loved it. Thank you Disney, for all those unreal expectations of life. They are so much fun. I adore singing Disney songs at the top of my voice. There is considerable volume involved. Only the people singing with me enjoy this exercise. Understandably.

(Wanna know a secret? My favorite part of Disneyland was sitting in a room waiting for my cousins to finish drawing and watching snatches of the films with their music go by on screens. I think we sat in there for 20 minutes. I knew all the songs. Sigh)

Right, well, I think that was my break. See you tomorrow.

GERONIMO

BEDA

I am going to do BEDA. For those of you not initiated into the world of whatever you would classify this as, that's Blog Every Day April. Goody.

GERONIMO

Singers

Have you ever watched a singer not sing for, oh say, a week?

Just to clarify, singers are not just people that sing. Everyone can sing. Singers are the ones that need to sing so that no one else kills them. Being a singer is as much in your DNA as being Catholic. You are changed for life. I am a Catholic singer. My DNA is altered irrevocably.

I digress.

These past two weeks have been spring break. No lessons. For any parents of singers, this is the time that you prepare to weather storms that have nothing to do with the events of your life. Without lessons, I try to practice more, but I was sick at the beginning, so the damage was done. And then I had an attack of the BAD FOODS. Tomatoes and cheese. I love both. I can't eat them often. There are repercussions. They are not disscussed much, but every time I am seen with either food item, my parents raise an eyebrow and say "should you be eating that?" So, that practice plan was shot to hell.

Bring on the temperamental storms! But I squished my inner DIVA and life is back on track.

God is good.

GERONIMO

St. Anthony and I

He is the man you ask to petition on your behalf when you loose things. Unfortunately we talk quite often. Most of the stuff I loose is not my fault. Really. I loose things like earings, which St Anthony always kindly helps me find. But I don't just misplace my belongings. I'm moslty well organised. Which brings me to the piont.

I lost a book.

I don't loose books. I know were every one of my books is on the shelf. The relationship between my books and memory is very strong. I knew for a fact that I had not leant it out. Besides the piont that I keep written record of which books have gone where, no one but Rachel would want to read this book, and she owns a copy. So I was rightly puzzled. I said a little prayer every time I looked at my bookshelf. Mummy and Rachel were saying prayers. I thought this might be a lesson in deferred gratification. But, sheesh. This had been going on for Months!

I was wrong. It was a lesson on the 4th commandment. Today was a cleaning day. More than just passing over the normal stuff. You know the kind. The pile of socks stuffed into the corner of my bookshelf that had been begging to be dealt with, maneuvered me into a position to see behind my bedside table. This is not common. I try not to look to often. It's kinda scary.

Sixty seconds after asking mummy if she was still praying to St Anthony about that book, BAM! I know, I know cleanliness is next to Godliness. You will also loose less stuff. Lesson learned. Thanks St Anthony.

Course Salt

Fear is a prevailing feeling for me. It varies in degrees, how much it debilitates, but it virtually never leaves. There is one exception. The kitchen is a safe zone. So, in an effort to brighten a dismal St Paddy's Day, I made pretzels for the first time. There are two left. They were received well. Makes me all fuzzy inside.

I worked yesterday. I saw THE PUBLIC. I wore green clothing, a Celtic necklace, and shamrock earrings. Not one person wished me a Happy St. Paddy's Day that I did not prompt. Sheesh. Were are all the Irish?

But my pretzels were yummy. Sprinkled with course salt.

GERONIMO

My Lent, so far

One of my Lenten penances this year was to not use the computer in the afternoon. The idea was, that if I can't escape then I would have to do my homework. I have read three new books in the last four days. So, how well do you think I am doing? Yeah. My thoughts exactly. Brilliant job, dingle-nuts. Sigh. Back into the breach.

GERONIMO

Story telling

Some people are born story tellers. I was actually duped into three years of an activity I disliked because my friend tolled me great stories. That is a talent.

I do not posses that talent. On the whole, my communication skills are below-par. I can be funny, it just isn't intentional most of the time. But storytelling? Nu-huh. By the mid-story point has been reached I have either bored every one silly or lost them. The symptoms are always worse with funny stories. Probably has something to do with timing.

You know that wish list of things, that if God had asked you, you would have requested? To be a weaver of words is one of mine.

Anyway, Just thought I would share.

GERONIMO

Was yesterday fun?

I was scrolling through the blogs I follow this morning, and I noticed a theme. It's Lent. So we should talk about it. I fear two days every year. The fall in the same liturgical season. I struggle with fasting. Medical conditions aside, purposely being hungry happily? Blarg.

I think Lent is a little like forty continuous days of New Year's. We have a resolution, and it is hard every day, but because it is Lent we keep trying . God is good at planning for us. Ever noticed?

GERONIMO

Does it have letters?

If so, then I will probably try to read it. Especially if I need to procrastinate.

Seasons

The flow of the Liturgical seasons is a familiar rhythm. It comes with the other seasons. As soon as spring decided it was coming, I think about Lent. It happens, just like with frost, I think about Advent. I enjoy Lent. The extra grace, the challenge of changing behavior patterns. I feel part of something BIG. And scary. And world changing. Because He is. I love being Catholic.

I do things

Really, there is more to my life than mood swings.

Anyway, today was a big day for me. I don't like performance, I do it 'cause I have to. The latest thingy I got railroaded into was an audition for the Opera Chorus in Victoria. It was scary. No Iris. New venue. All scary.

I lived.

I still haven't figured out why I chose to go into a field were talent is assumed and I get pushed into something I don't like regularly. I love it despite this. Funky.

I do enjoy the feeling that happens when scary things are finished.

"Life  is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful."

GERONIMO

I LOVE when I am right!

We watch the Academy Awards in my house. My dad doesn't like them but he never leaves, and mum and I just do 'cause we can. It's fun. Anyway, I watch the trailers for movies early in the year, and then pick the ones I think are best, and watch those. Then the nominations roll around and little happy dances happen if I have seen at least two of the movies in Best Picture. I had. This year. My favorite film won.

If you haven't seen The King's Speech, you should. It is good.

GERONIMO

This is my whine session

I have to laugh every time I read a blog wherein it is stated that the writer would like to think that the keep an honest blog but don't want to be a downer. I feel no such obligation.

It has been a roller coaster of a week. I'm all happy happy, then I burst into tears. I haven't liked it one einsy tinesy little bit. I haven't had a week like this since I was about 16. GRRR. But thank goodness, my week of messy stuff is over.

Good stuff. And moving on.

Cowichan Music Festival

I have never met a time gobbler like music festival. In past years, when someone would ask me what I was doing and the question coincided with music festival, the answer was very clear. 6 solos, 2 choirs and dance, was my average throughout festival, but this year I watched. And I'm pooped. It is incredibly hard work to sit and watch.
Can I offer an apology to all the mums who I thought shouldn't be tired after just watching?

Mind you, being grilled be my music teacher after each performance on what was brilliant and what, as a teacher I would improve, might account for some of my fatigue.
Baby singers are just darling. Piles of music stuck in my head now. It has been a long, long, longlonglong week. Fun week. So much fun.

"All music is folk music, I ain't never heard no horse sing a song."

GERONIMO

RIP

Basil, my cat, got put down yesterday.

I wanna go somewhere.

My passport is naked. No stamps. This is an epic calamity. I am having to plan future trips, which are mostly fantasy, just to keep my green eyed monster at a dull roar. So sad.
I WANNA GO SOMEWHERE!!!
 (Sorry) Sigh.

Your truth, my truth schmuck.

Have you ever lucked up the definition of truth in a dictionary. No? I just did.
Talks about honesty and established facts. Didn't really sound like a lot of leeway to me. But you know I was just looking it up in the dictionary. Maybe you can find a truth that you like form a different source. Just saying.

"The truth which makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear."

GERONIMO

Language

I have noticed a trend in my music choices lately. It is a prevailing trend throughout my life that I am only recently cottoning on to. It all comes down to the words.

I love the English language. The power of a beautifully constructed sentence is chilling. In the terms of what I find more powerful, I am a prose girl. Don't get me wrong, I like poetry. Just not quite the same way. Poetry is often just a little too lush and dense.

The sentences that catch me off guard enough to make me cry (ya, I cry over words) are sparse, bare and placed into space. It sits on the tongue waiting to said. To be rolled and tasted.

 (Something should be said here. It felt unfinished. Didn't it?)

Humph. I might love the English language, but my grasp of it is rudimentary. I have this ephemeral idea in my mind, and I am not sure the above post conveys what I was trying to say.

Oh well.

"I like to beholden to the great metropolitan English speech, the sea which receives tributaries from every region under heaven."

GERONIMO

I had it all planned.

Dear Book of Knowledge,
I was well prepared, did a rough draft, and all I want to do is whine and snivel. So, I will. My blog, my rules.

For five weeks every Tuesday night at work a man comes in at 9:45 and tells me the street light isn't on and he thought we were closed etc. etc.  drives me nutty. Anyway, as soon as I got to work this afternoon, I thought "I'm going to turn on the street light" so I did. Turns out I am still as dyslexic as I was yesterday. For the first time in 5 weeks the light was on and I turned it off. So, like clock work the gentleman comes in and does his obligatory whining and I feel silly. Sigh.

geronimo

Because I said I would

I am typing letters in a row to make words and I have nothing to say. And I wont try to make it funny because that just never works.

I read baby name books for fun. The are some atrocious names. Really.

I can spell atrocious but not friend without spell check. Huh.

I listen to new music over and over for about three days strait until I can sing all the lyrics.

"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."

GERONIMO!!!!!!!

Time

The flow of time happens in strange rhythms. Sometimes I blink and an entire month has gone. I lost it. I can't find it, but things happened. I can remember happenings. Just not well enough for me to grasp and understand them. And then other days happen in which time separates into sections. So that when I get into bed and think back over my day I am shocked to realize that all those events didn't equal many days, just one with many times captured and crammed into 24 hours. Time flows in mystical ways.

"Time is
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love,
Time is eternity."
Henry van Dyke

GERONIMO

Beautiful things

I was looking out the window this morning when this immense overwhelming feeling of  happiness swept me. I was happy to be alive and know there is a God, and that I could love Him in a little way. This poignant feeling swamps me sometimes, but only in the morning. In the stillness that happens before the rush of time begins. It makes my bones ache.

There are many different kinds of bone aches. The ones were my bones quite literally ache and then others that happen more in my mind. God has gifted me with a responsive body. I get mind tingly when someone is pregnant. I experience an intense ache in my thumb when I read a beautiful sentence. I cry when I feel well loved.

But best of all are the morning happy aches. I feel watched and blessed when those happen.

(Look what I did. I added a picture.)

GERONIMO

Blogs are odd.

A blog is not a private diary. It can be read but, it isn't public domain in the sense that I control what I say. So how private do I get? Do I just share the ramblings on the edge of my brain, or do I get in depth? Doe s anyone care? Or is that the point? That no one should care and I just spill my guts. Huh.

Blogs are therapeutic. Just a little odd.

So great black cosmos, what do you want?

"What is more dull than a discreet diary? One might just as well have a discreet soul."

GERONIMO!

Epic

It started so well. Three days in and I fall flat on my face. Oops. I promise to do better on Friday.

I love to lay in the dark and listen to sad songs. It makes me feel alive. To empathize with pain that is not mine on that level I have to be alive.

I have nothing else to say.

 My day has been a case of epic failure.

geronimo

Thinking is scary.

I am not going to drop off the face of the earth. I will update my blog. And it will be positive. Well, today anyway.
I thought I would do the exercise post before I go for my first run, that way it will be upbeat. And I still have enough breath to talk (think).

So, happy thoughts. ...

I know! The regime is staring on the right day. That is a good start. I am not starting out with procrastination.
Apparently resolutions take an entire month to form. I didn't have any thing I needed to do 2011 and now I have four. Golly. So much for no New Years junk.

Time for the quote. "Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

GERONIMO!

Jeepers

I have a whole long list of reasons why there has been no updates. But they are all boring. My mouth tastes like sugar. It wont even go away after I brush my teeth. Sigh. I don't have time to keep up with all the sports I follow. Either I watch to many sports or I have no time. I am going with the last hypothesis.

I just thought of an annoyance. My parents are in Mexico, and they have eaten more Italian food than Mexican. Sheesh! I love food. food is good. Good food is even better.

I have been re-reading a really good series. By a certain Megan Whalen-Turner. She is brilliant.

I am on a count down of my last few exercise free days left. Golly.

Okay, then. GERONIMO

I live in my mind.

Have you ever stopped to considered that being famous for singing would be an impossible feat if we didn't have such distinct voices? No? I have.

I was listening to the radio today when thought started to hit my brain. So mean. Anyway. I recognized a singer covering a song I had never heard them sing, but I still new instantly who it was. And as I was walking this morning I passed a smoker. Have you ever noticed that smoking is destructive? Not only do you pull pollution deliberately into your lungs, it also destroys some of the uniqueness of peoples voices.

Smokers have that common rasp as well as ... I guess it could be called straining, to their speaking sounds. Ick.

I think I have finished my train of thought now.


GERONIMO

"Counting  counts only when we have learnt how to count what counts."

I don' t understand puncuation.

 GERONIMO

I get the point, sure. No one wants all the sentences to run together. I just don't get it. I can never remember the names, so then I have to resort to describing what it looks like. Or its use. All in all, just embarrassing.

I was always the kid whose papers were sent back with all these red dots at the end of my sentences. I new were the breath was supposed to be taken. Why couldn't everyone else figure it out?

I was only thinking about this 'cause I did a broad sweep of what my blog looked like and came to the realization that I like ellipses. They follow my thought patterns nicely.

Huh.

"Many's the long night I've dreamed of cheese - toasted mostly."

There has to be an attachment...

That can inserted into your brain to take dictations of all those pretty thoughts that happen in the middle of the night. I had an absolutely gorgeous and funny post all composed at 2:30 this morning. I lost it with the morning light. It was all about names, and if what we are named influences us at all. Currently drawing a blank on the aforementioned subject.

I was at work today thinking about New Year's resolutions, because I don't make any. And it's January. And I just started an electronic monitor of my life. So I am going to do resolutions of a sort. I am going to chose three things off my bucket list to try and do this year, plus a set of books I have been trying to read and haven't.

So here it goes.
Learn to Garden. More specifically, I want to be harvesting herbs that I grew to cook with this year.
Learn Calligraphy. Included in this, is a wish to improve my handwriting and relearn the art of letter writing. Because letters are cool.
Buy a Claymore. Because I have the perfect wall for it. And I want it. Badly. So...
Books for this Year;
Basically anything by Chesterton. I have to finish one of his books cover to cover by the end of this year.
And one unabridged Bronte. I don't care which one.
The four gospels. I need to do this.

Okay...

Thank goodness this is going to out of my journal and visible or I would promptly start ignoring it.

GERONIMO!

Am I the only one...

Who likes when something makes me cry? It feels ... real. That my emotions are that accessible. I am not made of stone, or even that hardhearted. Just very real. And very much girl.

Geronimo

P.S. "Silence is the virtue of fools."

Quotes

I wish I had a photographic memory. I would love to part of a quote war or have an easy time passing exams or able to make people laugh with a perfectly timed quote.

Actually I would like to be funny regardless. But that is totally beside the point.
Well not really beside the point. I don't have a point. I just like spitting words out into the black abiss and watching them float.

"Brevity is the soul of wit."

GERONIMO!

P.S. None of that makes sense even in my own mind. Sigh.

Crack

I am so in love I can barley stay in my own skin. But there it is.
Why can't we take characters out of fiction and make them real? Life could be so unstable that way. It would be a blast. And also my swooning would be a little more understandable. Oh the trials of living in a world were there is no man with two hearts.

GERONIMO

Procrastination

Is a beautiful thing. Truly. Sigh. I have to go make cake now.

Fun quote "What makes a sane and rational person subject himself to such humiliation? Why on earth does anyone want  to become a football referee?"
Anyway.

GERONIMO!

I thought I should learn to type...

So what do I do. Start a blog. ... My thoughts exactly. I love to read blogs, but they generally have anecdotes or short story's. My brain is like a wasteland if your asking for creative interesting reading. So this entire escapade should be an exercise in frustration.
 How is it that someone can grow-up in this day and age and not know how to type? I can't text either. Just answering the phone can at times be trying. But at least I'm never bored.

GERONIMO!