I have been removed from life for the last while. I was gearing up to an exam in the beginning of January and since then I have been on the wheel of my life trying to get through a week with no casualties.
I have to work four days a week to pay school expenses but because I work four days I have trouble with a full course load which is kinda ok because of the apprenticeship thing I have going on. But the exam was then end of something and the beginning of diploma work. And I find myself putting off homework to go to a job I am supposed to be working to pay for school. Which is a little messed.
So, four days working, three days of class, teaching on one of those days, practising, language work and newly added a weekly essay. I have not done any formal writing in five years. The only writing I have done is History exams and then I have three hours which means no revision. This essay thing has kinda scared me a little spit less.
I thought I would tell the internet that, because all the people in my life tell me to suck it up and I will be fine. I was (yeah, that is past tense) good at English and essays. I don't really feel fine, I feel intimidated. Yes, I pulled out the first one, and yeah, I will do this weeks, just gah. It is another ball that I have to keep in the air. I don't want any more balls. Add another and watch the entire thing come crumbling down.
I know. I am chicken. I don't have that big a course load. But I am still struggling. But this too will pass.
