I have been removed from life for the last while. I was gearing up to an exam in the beginning of January and since then I have been on the wheel of my life trying to get through a week with no casualties.
I have to work four days a week to pay school expenses but because I work four days I have trouble with a full course load which is kinda ok because of the apprenticeship thing I have going on. But the exam was then end of something and the beginning of diploma work. And I find myself putting off homework to go to a job I am supposed to be working to pay for school. Which is a little messed.
So, four days working, three days of class, teaching on one of those days, practising, language work and newly added a weekly essay. I have not done any formal writing in five years. The only writing I have done is History exams and then I have three hours which means no revision. This essay thing has kinda scared me a little spit less.
I thought I would tell the internet that, because all the people in my life tell me to suck it up and I will be fine. I was (yeah, that is past tense) good at English and essays. I don't really feel fine, I feel intimidated. Yes, I pulled out the first one, and yeah, I will do this weeks, just gah. It is another ball that I have to keep in the air. I don't want any more balls. Add another and watch the entire thing come crumbling down.
I know. I am chicken. I don't have that big a course load. But I am still struggling. But this too will pass.
I'm not going to tell you you will be fine because I still have the memory of my last two awful essays seared in my brain. However, I will repeat what you said: "This too will pass". We will be crazy busy with too many balls to juggle for three months. THREE MONTHS. And then we can recover FULLY. It is too enormously wonderful to understand properly.
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