Dreams?

The land of the dreams is always odd, but sometimes it can highlight weaknesses. Last night was the latter.

When I was about 15 my most common nightmare was about getting drunk and doing things that I had no control over. In my dream I would watch myself participating in actions that I wouldn't do on pain of death, and I couldn't stop. It was horrifying. That dream stopped a couple years ago.

Last night that theme came back with different contents. I was strapped down on a board and couldn't move and someone was forcing tomatoes down my throat. (I have a tomato sensitivity, it makes me plugged up, and gives me dark circles under my eyes.) And after feeding me so many tomatoes I felt like I was drowning, they started in on the cigarettes. I was being forced to take up smoking.

My arms were strapped down. I couldn't fight back.

I might or might not like having control over things. The thing with nightmares is sometimes they are actually scary, sometimes they just point out that I still have trust issues.

FIVE DAYS TILL DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!