Stress Bumps

I suffer from anxiety. I also get stressed. Both happen at the same time on an all to frequent basis. But over the last four years I have worked to get them under  into the realm of "normal".

My stress bumps came back this week. Stress bumps are literally what they sound like. I get these weird bumps on my knuckles. The doctor could not figure out what they where, when we asked. They get dry and sore. And they only show up when I am so stressed-out-of-my-ever-loving-mind that the stress has to become external.

I think the last time I got stress bumps was music festival six years ago? Seven? Five? (Before my voice got sick, and I got to quit music festival.) I am not sure. I could look it up, because I know what I was doing, but I am too lazy. It was the last year I got sent to provincials. For MF that year I had seven solos, two choir groups, and two dance numbers in the space of a week and a half. I would never preform if given the choice. I don't like it. It does not thrill me. In fact IT STRESSES ME OUT. So do I think it is a coincidence that the last time I had growths on my hands was the last time someone asked me to preform that many times in a week, and they came back for the first time in years, in a week that I have to preform four times in a week? No, not a fluke.

Talent and desire do not always line up. Just 'cause I can sing and preform well does mean that I want to. Ever. But I do, because God judges us on the talents that we do not grow. But it is painful.

Not that anyone will be able to tell from my peaceful countenance. It took me hours in front of a mirror to master looking calm. But I also learned that one, because people can hear better if you look happy. Go figure.

Rant over?

Well, that was full of Advent cheer, wasn't it? People always want you to sing around Christmas. Sheesh.

Lets put in a picture.