Bits and Bobs

Anxiety. I have a disorder. New things are always had because of this. But it is one of the reasons I disappeared off here. If I can figure out a way to sink through the floor, well I will never be back. I can only focus on so many things when my brain is on fritz. Blogs get dropped.

I haven't finished any new books. Been re-reading the ending of three that I have virtually memorized. I do this particularly when stressed because the ending of books are organized. They have a conclusion, the world for those characters temporarily make sense, ordered, in control. If my life can't be in control, I want someone else's to be.

In my lesson this morning I noticed a bag my teacher has with many sayings and quotes. The one that caught my attention was "Do one thing that scares you every day." I want to only do one thing a day that scares me. I was told that it wasn't an option. If only I could limit it to just one. Instead I find it easier to count the moments I am not scared.

My Island has had the longest dry spell in 107 years. I like the rain. This sun thing has me slightly down about the mouth. It should rain, maybe for a week, and really heavy. Then I can feel like my inside pieces fit. (Maybe. Chances are that only 2% of the problem is no rain.)

Every time I paint my nails black someone invariably asks if I am going goth. No, I just like the colour black. But since it is chipping I guess I will go paint them burgundy. It is Autumn, I can get away with colour like that.